Merry meet everyone, I am here again with another great question you can ask yourself to put in your journal for this week. I am personally writing theses in my journal each week and answering them in more detail than I do in here because some bits should be kept private. That being said today's question is what is one thing you want to manifest for your future self? So for me personally the one thing I would love to manifest for my future self is to be able to have a baby of my own. This will most likely be a common answer for many questions to come in the future. If you read last weeks question you have some idea what I am going through to a point. So here goes. Back in October 2019 I had this horrid scare. I had my normal period which then turned into not normal. I had been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half at this point. Not fully timetable focused but focused while working our busy lives. We had this thought it will happen when it happens but to try anyway. So back to October 2019 were this 3 to 4 week period happened and I was taken to the doctors to get it checked. They gave me tablets to stop the bleeding as it wasn't normal. I did all the tests needed to know what was wrong with me. I remember this one doctor calling me up at 6.30 at night with my results and said to me that I may have a form of cancer on my ovaries. This was 3 weeks before christmas and I died inside. I burst into tears and didn't stop until my partner came home after work. The doctor has also said because of this I may never have children. Fast forward to my first official appointment with my new specialist doctor and she gave me the best news anyone could give me that day. Not the your all clear news but the fact the other doctor fucked up. I did not have cancer at all, instead I have a common hormone problem. I wont say what I have been told I have because I am not ready to talk about that yet but I am working towards it. I was told having a baby will be hard for me because it isn't in balance and they need to work out what has caused this. They said I should lose weight because that my be a big factor which made me cry. My weight has been a big problem for me for years because it happened while I had my very dark period in my life and I haven't been able to lose it. I panicked and thought I am never getting a baby. I was going through tests ect before lock-down happened because I haven't had my period now since the full month of bleeding last year. In fact my last one was December as I had two different big bleeds. I am losing weight even in lock-down and have a focused goal. I am making a great progress so far and will continue to do so because I have my goal. When lock-down ends I will be continuing my treatment and tests and hopefully they can solve my no period problem because thats a big part that needs to work. I didn't plan on going through so much detail in this post but I have gotten people asking me what I danced around with last post and I thought that I am in the right place to talk about some of the aspects I have been dealing with. In the future there may be weeks I don't get to do my posts because of this so its better to mention it now then later. I hope I haven't scared you all off with my over sharing and that I see you all in the next post. I would love to hear what you would like to manifest for your future self too if you want to share. Stay safe everyone and dream big. Blessed be x PaganVibesOnly x Comments are closed.
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