Hey all,
Now this may seem strange to you that my new year is tomorrow, because my religion isn't widely known unless you follow the religion also. I am a pagan. Not a witch or in some cases people think hippy. I am who I am. I follow mother earth we live on her and she controls all. I believe that other faiths are all connected to the main one which is mother earth. but I wont go into it more because I can't be bothered to explain it all haha :') So for my new year I always light a candle. This is because it shows respect to family and friends that have passed on to the other plains, or heaven as most people know it as. The barrier between our reality and theirs are thin so we can if we wish speak to passed family members and ask for advice for the following year. I dont personally do this because I dont want bad spirts haunting my ass. So instead I light a candle and bless it for my family and friends still with me and for those that have passed. I then ask mother earth or the gods and goddess which people normally bless to, to bless my new year with luck and love. I also do this if someone is ill that I care about. The second thing I do for my new year is write down a list of things I would like to do for that following year. Learn to read cards or work on my garden. Normal things everyone does for their new year. I then put it in my book and when I feel like ticking one off or I have some free time within the year I will go back and work on it. If I dont do it within the year then I pass it on to the next year unless its silly like what I did a couple of years ago which was something on the lines of become world famous. I know it doesnt seem silly but to me it is. I wanted to be famous but for my art not anything else and the best way to do that is to not care about it. Anyway I would like to wish you all a happy new year even if its not yours yet. I would also wish for you all to think about your loved ones tomorrow as they will hear you more easily tomorrow then other days :) MissDoomie Hey all, Today I will most likely piss of a huge group of people because of my views on the current world and how some people are living their lives. Now I am a opened minded person, I respect everyone and if they love the same sex or want to change their sex completely then I would accept that and still see them how I have always seen them. Now there are so many closed minded people out there that either use nasty name calling as a way to bully theses amazing people or they hide behind faith. I had seen online a young man go through the most horrid thing possible and all because he was true to himself and not being fake to please his family. Now I may be open minded because in my family people are true about themselves and they are respected for that. I remember when my brother came out to me and my family. There weren't arguments or tears, we accepted him for him. He didn't change in our eyes hes still my annoying brother but he doesn't date females. Which meant he doesn't have to deal with fake bitches. I am so proud of both of my brothers because they lead their lives how they want them. Not hiding behind a fake image everyone wants to see. I have friendships in all different aspects and I have never turned round and said sorry i dont like that your you bye. Where theres so many people out there that use faith to bully belittle and hurt people who have more self respect than to please your little minded brains. I am sorry but I rather be surrounded by people who are true to themselves than have fake ass wankers around me. I hate walking down the street and hearing how theses so called Christians come across and say 'god hates gays' but I was brought up to believe god loves everyone? Which is it? does he hate or does he love? If you truely loved your family members no matter what they want to be or who they want to love you should respect that. Not throw your son/daughter out on the road saying they disappointed you. BECAUSE YOU DISAPPOINTED THEM! you judged them on what they are, who they love and for that you failed as a parent. Not going to sugar coat it either. If you have came out and your friends turn on you then there not your true friends. If you come out and your friends accept you with open arms and say 'no matter what your my friend' then they are true. You dont need fake people in your life. I have more fun with my brothers because they are happy with themselves then when I did growing up with them. They are amazing people and I can't understand why anyone has a problem with what someone else does with their lives. LIVE YOUR DAMN OWN LIFE! It doesnt effect you at all. Your not the one who has to be bullied everyday for being who you are. So open your damn minds and understand this is the world we live in. Accepted it or live in your little bubble where everything is rainbows and sunshine because your living in lahlah land. Now you could hate me but I really dont care. I am happy with my life and I am happy to support people who are true to their selves and I am proud that people have the `will power to be themselves. LOVE IS LOVE! MissDoomie Hey all happy weekend :)
Woke up this morning thinking wow another day. Yep weekends aren't fun anymore. When you were a kid you would look forward to weekends like it was a mini holiday away from homework and the prison we knew as school. Now as an adult weekdays are more like that to me then weekends. You wanna know why??? Work. Haha I love working but I work on Sundays which mean I can't stay up late on Saturday or drink and have to be the boring one in the group haha. I am ok with it because after all its a full days pay on Sunday so who cares but it does make me feel a little sad at times when all my mates are doing something on Saturday and Im just sat here thinking about work the next day. I dont drink much anyway but I do miss waking up on Sundays to cuddle my boyfriend and just chill. I miss the family dinners we had with my boyfriends parents and I miss just being able to have a pj day. The pros to working on Sunday is that you get to start the week off. In my work we go from Sunday to Saturday on paperwork so I get to sort that off (which feeds into my need to paperwork, yes im weird). Work inst as busy as the week but also has the same people coming in just to chat and see whats new. Kids dont understand how much they should enjoy their childhood because being an adult inst much easier. In fact as a kid you just have to worry about homework and falling out with people. As an adult theres bills, work, money, not seeing friends as much, family falling out, moving out, starting a family.... the list goes on. You learn to deal with things in a way that only adults can do which is a bonus but I do miss waking up and just watching cartoons in the morning, eating breakfast and keeping the remote control away from my brothers. Life was simple then and you need to enjoy what you have because you dont know when it will change or what could happen. Yup more weekend rants lol, speak to you all next time :) MissDoomie Hey guys :)
I've been thinking the past couple of days at how much my life has changed this year. Now my life has changed a lot in the last 6 years from family drama, hurt and pain, from getting my grades and finishing uni, moving out ect. But through out all of that my heart and my soul have been fighting over things that I had no control on. Well thats what I thought. I thought that without the answers that haunt me I couldn't move on with my life. Now I know how silly that sounds but for me this answers meant the world to me, I needed to know them, the reasons why things happened, why someone so close to me could hurt me completely and why abandon me when I needed them the most. Now without getting theses answers that ate me up inside I carried around with this hurt and pain that I couldn't move on from. My depression got worse and my anxiety controlled me more than I wanted to admit. I felt like a puppet in my life. Never really being able to do anything but still going forward even a inch at time but on the terms of anxiety's mission not my own. I got to the point in my life where I felt like I failed. I failed my great grandma because I promised I wouldn't let her down and I would live my life to the fullest but how could I do that when I couldn't even leave my home. I failed my nan because I wanted to prove I was ok, that what happened to me didnt effect me, didn't change me yet it did. I failed my boyfriend because even with him being there for me no matter what I closed off my life from him. A wall was put up, At first I blamed it all on her. The person who hurt me more than anyone could ever but I think that was my excuse. I closed my heart from everyone who loved me to protect myself from more hurt. I became someone I didn't want to be because of how life treated me, how people treated me. It made me want to hide from everyone, from the life outside to be protected from hurt and pain. Then something changed. I sat where I am sitting now and thought what the hell am I doing? I made a promise to myself that I would never take drugs, or abuse drink because I was brought up by someone who did both and it ruined their life and unfortunately messed with me and my brothers. I made a promise to myself that I would never turn out like her but here I was sitting at my desk doing fuck all. Hiding from the world that wronged me like she did. She played on her problems and in a way made them worse because she didnt fight back. She let them fester and control her. Now I know mental illness effects people different but for me growing up with a parent who suffered with it and suffered more by finding a way out with either drugs or drink or even the dance with death themself, I knew I had to fight. I couldn't go down the same path she did. At my age she had me five years old and a one year old. She was abandoned a second time by my useless father and she only had my nan to help her out. She suffered because everyone she opened up to and loved used her and treated her like shit over and over again. Instead of learning from that and fighting she got accustomed to drugs. She wouldnt leave the house and would lock herself in her bedroom away from everyone. That was my childhood. It wasn't bad because I had my nan and my brothers to lean on but I couldnt get close to the one parent I had left because she lost the fight. Instead of getting help she lost her self more. That for me was reason enough to kick myself in the ass and fight harder. It got to the point where I was at the same cross roads she was in, but instead of losing myself completely I went down the other path. Now I didn't set out for this post to be about my past or mental illness to be honest I was reflecting on how much I have changed this year. From feeling I was at the lowest part of my life to feeling great about myself and actaully being happy. Not just me putting on a face or acting. I am happy. I am really happy and thats weird. Ya I still have problems but they dont control me anymore, I have a job a great job that I love doing which gets me out of the house and I love spending time with the people I love. The wall has came down that was between me and my boyfriend and I feel like myself again. My advice thought out this whole post is dont give up. No matter what you feel or who tells you to. NEVER GIVE IN. Only you can get through it, only you can help yourself no matter what people say they can be there for you but they cant solve your problems for you. It may seem hard, but never stop fighting because your life is worth it, you are worth the fight and ya it took me four years to get to this point. My fight isnt over but its getting easier to live and thats the point life isnt easy, who ever tells you it is are living in false hope. Life is about building upon what you have and what you can do with it. If all else fails then you know that no matter what you have your family and friends that will support you no matter what, they are patient. Anyway thanks for reading and I do hope this helps it my inspire you or what but its what I felt like saying today. MissDoomie xx It's funny how much I get involved in a book series I read. The first ever time it happened it was the shadow hunters series and now its gone into the tv series on Netflix. But as of late I have been reading the other-world series by kelly (cant remember her last name) but I can relate to the main female character her personality and how strongly she loves and fights for what is right and I just love the world its set in. Even though the world they live in is all fighting for safety/ protection or just making sure the world doesn't fall apart. It's funny how much you long to be in a world like that, even though my life or world is boring I have no power to change it at this moment of time and you just go with the flow most of the time. In this book series she has the power to change what she wants she makes things happen. Does help that she is a werewolf haha.
Anyway this post is short because I still have two more books of this series to read and I blame this all on the bitten tv series. Only 3 seasons and I want more...... Sad its finished :( Bye peeps MissDoomie It's that time of year again, where kids use to be excited about trick or treating and dressing up scary/cute and having fun. Now when I was a kid that was true. The whole of October I would plan my outfit for that one night and get more and more excited about going out trick or treating. Same with my oldest brother (younger than me) and for some time my youngest brother. But when I tried to get an answer from my youngest brother seeing if he needed anything picking up for Halloween ( I work in town so its easy to pick up stuff for him) he said he ain't doing anything and its just a day. OMG what happened? I thought you just think this way when you get to adult stage and even then it gets more fun drinking on Halloween with mates, the Halloween parties that mates or family throw.
Now I was thinking about the last time I went trick or treating and it then was going down hill. Not that many people accepted it only the lovely old ladies that lived around the area. Not many people wanted the hassle. Which OK I understand but its a night for the kids at the end of the day and people have ruined it. I live in flats and I want to do trick or treat. I want to see little kids dressed scary knocking on my door so I can go omg soo cute and give them sweets. Yes that sounds really bad but its a right of passage. That's what happened to me when I was a kid and I dont have kids myself yet but I would like to, to share all things Halloween and fun. It seems to me that there isn't much left for kids to do now a days. It seems that the whole word 'fun' doesn't get used anymore. Has everyone forgot how to have fun now they have grown up? Or do they just think HA your childhood is ruined now. I just dont understand how the world has changed so much. Now I am only 23 years old and I already feel how my great grandma felt, or even my nan. They always said their childhood was better in their time. The world was friendlier, happier, more helpful, you respected each other and helped when needed, you cared about each other and spent time together. Now I completely understand what my nan means. I was a 90's kid. I great up when technology was just coming out. I got my first mobile phone in 2008. Yea that was only 9 years ago. Now I see kids with mobiles that came out last month as young as 5. 5! I didn't have a laptop until 2010 and that was just for my studies. Wasn't allowed to play games, didn't have a game console (it was the mothers we weren't allowed on it). Now this all started because in work I asked a young girl was she excited for halloween. Bare in mind she was looking at the halloween range we do in work and she was about 10 shopping with her mum. Her mother turns round and said ' nah she thinks its all silly' I was shocked. They were there shopping for her mums halloween outfit as she was going to a friends party. I got talking to the mum of this child about how halloween was when we were younger and she agreed with me that today its gone poo. I just wish children had what we had as kids. We had so much more than just technolgy and I am glad I was born when I did. I can see both sides and be thankful for what I did have to what I have now. Where younger people just dont get it. I know I sound old in this rant ish post but its all what I feel. I just wish things where still as good as I had it but with todays great inventions. Anyway I will see you all in the next post and let me know if you have any good halloween stories? Missdoomie Hey all, The past weekend was eventful, no really it was full of events. My local council do a firework display every year and I love just going and spending time with my friends and taking pictures of the display. Now I have been doing this on and off for the last couple of years but plans never go the way you want them to. NEVER! Now me and my partner invited our close friends to join us on saturday to go watch the show, but we werent paying to get in but to watch the fireworks from outside the event. This was because the tickets were £9 each and we couldnt afford such prices just to stand inside and watch fireworks so we thought HA we will stand outside and watch them for free. Great plan but where do we stand? Now in the end we found a really good place to stand/ sit and chill with our friends while watching the fireworks. But this wasnt without the problems of getting to said place and also making sure we didnt get wet because mother earth thought HA I will rain on theses silly peoples. But over all it was a great night full of firework wonder and I was in a great place to photograph the fireworks and got some great images. After the event we all went back to my place and chilled for an hour doing some funny games where you take a shot if you laugh at the dont laugh videos. One of my friends just laughed more he drank which made us all laugh. It was a fab night full of great friends and amazing memories. Oh and if you plan on doing what we did make sure you plan for everything not just what the weatherman may or may not of told you haha. Hope you all enjoyed your weekends <3 MissDoomie |
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