Merry meet :)
So today I will be answering the question how did I find my path? Now thats going to be a long story which I am happy to talk about because after all its part of who I am and what makes me me. Started when I was younger growing up. My mother was a pagan and her room was full of aspects of the craft. It was never hidden away from me but wasn't taught to me until I was 7-8 years old. I remember my mother having an altar on her shelving unit. It was the top shelve and I could see it when I sat on her bed. It was full of beautiful statues and items that made no sense to me at the time. Now I know what it was and what the items where on her altar which makes sense to me now. I remember her sitting me down when I asked her what her faith was because it was a topic in school and I wanted to understand what faith I had. She sat me down and told me she was a pagan, a bit like a witch in the stories she told me growing up. She was a white witch, which meant a good witch and she respects mother earth and using her craft to better the world. She then handed me a deck of tarot cards and told me if I want to learn more about her faith you can do so, She then said that these cards helps give you advice when your stuck and that if you use them right they will help you along your path. Now I never really understood what she meant back then but I taught myself how to read the cards and I did more research on the path. In a way it brought me and my mother closer together. She gave me crystals and told me things that were magical and wonderful. I remember her asking me if I wanted to help her contact the spirits with her board and I jumped to the task. I wanted to see how it all worked and who would speak to us if it did work. She told me to come out into the garden with her. It was night at the time so we had candles burning . She sat her board on the grass and told me to sit next to it and she created a protection circle around us. She then said dont leave the circle without her opening it and if you get scared focus on the thought I am with you. We then spoke to someone called mark. It was weird because we weren't moving the arrow thingy but this spirit was. I was like how is there spirits near my home. Why haven't I known this! It opened my mind completely. I then spend my time learning as much as I can from my mother, I did my own research too but it wasn't as fun. I then got to the teenager stage where I wanted to focus on my mates more and lost the path slightly. I still called myself a pagan, but no one knew. It actually got out in high school that I thought of myself as a witch and I got bullied because of it. It never really bothered me much though because at the same time my relationship with my mother had turned dark. At that point I stopped learning about my faith and just put it in a box. When my mother attacked me a couple of years ago I was in a dark place I had nothing to look forward to and my future was bleak. I danced around taking my own life because I didn't want to be in a world where my mother hated me. It got to a really bad point where a family member made me get help. I went on to medication, which helped slightly and then went to therapy. It was the best thing I did personally for myself. I learned many things that made sense. I remembered parts of my past that I didn't want to remember that my mind locked away. My perfect relationship with my mother growing up wasn't so perfect. I made it so in my head which made the event even more painful but it wasn't. I learned that my life was important and it also reconnected me with my faith. That was last year. Once I reconnected with my craft, I became more positive and my life looked up. I got a job which I love and I feel more happy within myself. I dont even take tablets anymore to help me keep positive. Thats all down to my faith. Now my faith isn't connected to my mother anymore its my own and I feel better because of it. It may of started with her but it ends with me and hopefully when I have a family it will be passed on to them. People have said I have been lucky to have a mother pass down her faith and all she knows to me. Yes in a way I was but not always. She taught me aspects of the craft that I didn't agree with, the darker side of the craft. Like she turned her back on her self. She told me when I was younger she was good and used her craft to help the world but she turned dark and turned her craft to hurt people instead. The last craft I saw her preping for was a hex spell. She was going to get her own back on the people who wronged her. The good spark gone from her eyes. She lost her path. Its why I ruse to entertain the idea of curses and hex's, I would rather focus on the positive because its not worth going down that dark path because you lose yourself and your soul. So thats how I found my path, I know I got personal on this post and to be honest I will most likely become more personal within this challenge. Its what makes me who I am, The events that shaped me as a pagan, a witch, a women. Its all building blocks that helped create the person I am today. I hope you enjoyed today's post and you learned something new about me. I will continue this challenge next week. Blessed be x MissDoomie x Comments are closed.
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